The Struggles of Raising Devil Children
by Lovell Luka
Summary: Short drabbles about Dante and Vergil's childhood, mostly from Eva's perspective. AU.
1. The Dress Incident

Disclaimer: Bah! I'm a purple Minion!

-:-

Eva loved to sew. It was something she did in her free time when her boys were out and her husband wasn't home. She could sew cutrains, shirts, dresses, among many other things. She often used a mannequin to model the dresses that she sewed for her best friend and herself, but one day Dante got ahold of it and used it as a practice dummy for his swordplay when his brother, Vergil, wasn't home. Eva wa upset, so as fitting punishment-until Sparda could buy her a new mannequin-she made Dante model her dresses while she worked on them. He was disgruntled to say the least. They were in the living room, Dante standing uncomfortably while Eva sat on a short ottoman, sewing happily.

"Mom, how long do I have to stand here?" he asked every hour.

"Just a while longer," Eva always patiently responded.

Dante huffed. "Can you imagine if the front of the house fell off right now and someone saw me in _this?!_" he gestured to the frilly white and golden gown that he wore over his usual clothes (red shirt and black jeans). The straps hung off his shoulders, making him feel awkward-more than he already was. For a young man of sixteen, this was no way to spend a Saturday afternoon.

"That's not going to happen, dear," Eva chided and stuck the needle back into the fabric, working along the hem.

"What if we all got struck by lightning and they found me dead in a dress? I'd never be able to show my face at school," Dante complained.

"You wouldn't have to go to school, sweetie, because you'd be dead," Eva pointed out, not really interested in all his fussing.

"Or what if one of my friends walked in right now-" Dante stopped as he heard the front door creak open. That was all the motivation he needed to bolt, hiding in the nearest closet.

Vergil walked in the living room and started to pull off his coat. "Hello, Mother," he said brightly and kissed his mother on the cheek, throwing the coat over his arm. "Have you seen Dante?"

Eva tried to supress a naughty smile, which Vergil noticed-he noticed everything-and curiously quirked an eyebrow.

Eva leaned toward Vergil and whispered in his ear, "He's hiding in the closet," as she pointed to where Dante disappeared.

"What's he doing in there?" Vergil whispered back, following his mother's lead.

Eva closed her eyes and shrugged innocently. Even more intrigued, Vergil walked over to the closet under the pretenses of hanging up his coat, although he really just wanted to find out what his brother was up to. Eva forced herself not to giggle as Vergil open the door and was met with the sight of Dante in a dress. Vergil was stunned and amused to say the least, unable to fight off the smirk that plastered his face.

"Don't. Say. _Anything._" Dante hissed at his brother through clenched teeth.

A moment of silence...

"Are you coming out of the closet, Dante?" Vergil asked innocently, still smirking.

Eva burst into giggles at the look on Dante's face and then once again her children were fighting on the floor. She had to break them up so her dress wouldn't get torn.

-:-

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	2. First Words

**First Words**

As a baby, Dante was always squeaking and burbling. Whether happy or sad, he was always trying to communicate by verbalising. Eva fondly referred to him as her little chatterbox. She knew he would be the talkative one when he grew up.

Especially since Vergil rarely made any sound. He often communicated by pointing at whatever he wanted. Vergil only cried if he was hungry or needed to be changed, even then he wasn't very loud. Not to say that Vergil was an impassive child, quite the contrary. Vergil had the brightest, happiest smile and, although he was a quiet baby, he loved attention and trying to communicate in his own quirky way. He was affectionately named Eva's little pantomime.

To watch the twins interact with each other was without a doubt very amusing. Dante babbled something that Eva never understood, but Vergil always did. Depending on if what Dante said was good or bad, Vergil would either smile and nod, or give his twin a pouty glare.

Dante also understood Vergil and his animated gestures. Beside the simple nod or shake of his head that stood for yes or no, waving usually meant stop, reaching meant he wanted a hug, and clapping was to say, "Look at me!" He pointed to indicate he wanted something that was too far away, or that he wanted to go to that certain spot. A big smile meant that all was right with the world.

Once, while they were sitting together in the living room, Sparda asked Vergil, "Why don't you talk like your brother?" Vergil's reaction was instantaneous and hilarious; he started waving and shaking his head no frantically. Eva smiled. "Maybe he's waiting to talk until he's gotten good at it," she supplied jokingly. Sparda looked up at her standing next to them. "How can you get good at something without practice?" he frowned. "Maybe he's practicing up here," Eva tapped her finger on her temple. "You never know. Vergil's an intelligent child."

Sometime after the twins' first birthday, everyone was sitting in the kitchen eating breakfast. Dante and Vergil were sitting next to each other in their double wide high-chair. They quietly ate the little spoonfuls of homemade baby food Eva fed them. Vergil loved the special mixture of mashed potatoes and mashed meat. He couldn't get enough so much so that whenever it was Dante's turn to have some, Vergil would obviously pout and wiggle in frustration. "Do you want some more, Vergil?" Eva cooed and lifted the spoon toward him. He eagerly ate it and right then Dante squeaked out an audible, "Bergo!"

Everyone, including little Vergil, looked right at Dante, pleasantly startled. "Oh, Anthony! Your son's first words!" Eva was ecstatic. Sparda smiled and plucked Dante from his high chair as the boy continued to babble, "Bergo! Bergo! Bergo!"

It wasn't until the following year, at the age of two, that Vergil finally spoke. It was a quiet, sunny day and the Sparda family was lounging in their backyard under a large oak tree that provided more than enough shade. Eva laid her back to Sparda's chest with her eyes closed. As they rested against the tree, the parents suddenly heard a very clear, "Dante! Dante! No, Dante! Momma said no eating the mud!" Eva and Sparda immediately looked up to see Vergil running toward them. "Momma, Dadda! Dante's eating mud!" Vergil spoke clearly, which was quite a feat considering Dante still babbled a little. Eva burst out giggling and Sparda sighed. "I suppose you were right after all," he said to his wife. "I suppose I was," Eva smiled and stood up to go take Dante away from his favorite mud puddle.

-:-

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	3. Marshmallows

**Marshmallows**

Vergil loved marshmallows so much so that whenever Eva bought some, they would disappear one by one until the whole bag was gone by the end of the day. Sometimes Eva would find Vergil with his little cheeks pooched out and unable to talk. Eva always knew his mouth was stuffed with those little sugar clouds.

After a trip to the super market, the unopened bag of mallows vanished from the counter the moment Eva turned her back. She frowned and went to Vergil, who was playing alone with his little plastic knights. "Vergil, did you steal the marshmallows just now?" she asked kindly. Vergil looked up innocently, "No, mother."

Eva sighed. "Now, don't lie to me. Lying tarnishes trust," she chided, giving a stern look to her five year old son. "No, mother. I vow I did not take any mallows... yet," Vergil said truthfully. Eva could see it in his face. "All right," she accepted his answer and returned to the kitchen.

That afternoon, while Vergil was napping, Eva went upstairs to gather some laundry when she found a trail of sugar clouds down a long hallway on the second floor. As any watchful mother - and naturally curious woman - would do, she followed the trail. It led down the hall, into the study and circled back out into the hallway. From there it took her into the ballroom, her bedroom, and up another flight of stairs. Then the mallow pattern started to zigzag which, up until then, had been in a straight line. The third floor corridor's trail led her to her sewing room, where she found her younger son, Dante. He didn't notice her enter, as he was so busy pulling marshmallows from the stolen bag and placing them in a row on the floor.

"What are you doing?"

Dante looked up and smirked. "Making a trail of mallows," he obviously stated. Eva nodded and rolled her eyes, "I can see that. I mean to ask why are you doing such a thing."

"To amuse myself," Dante answered with a wide smile and continued with his work.

"Uh-huh." Eva shook her head and went back to her original chore of laundry.

Later in the evening, Eva spied Vergil following and eating the trail of alluring marshmallows that Dante laid out and that she had followed earlier. To Eva and Sparda's amazement, Vergil continued his quest for three more days until every last mallow had been sought out and eaten.

Eva had never seen Vergil's cheeks look so fat.

-:-

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Also, feel free to request a story you'd like me to write about Dante and Vergil's childhood.


	4. Marshmallows Part II

Marshmallows Part II

A week after Dante had left a whole bag of mallows lying about for Vergil to find and eat, Eva noticed him doing it again. Though this time it was a little different. Dante was turning out to be quite the little mischief maker.

Eva sighed as she went to fetch her husband from the study, who was asleep in his chair with a magazine over his face and his feet propped up on the desk. "Anthony!" Eva called and snapped her fingers to get his attention. Sparda shifted and the magazine fell into his lap. He opened one eye to look at her. "Yes?"

Eva sat on the edge of his desk and crossed her legs. Sparda asked and continued to watch her. She looked bored and exasperated as she spoke her next words, "You need to go take care of your children."

Sparda sighed and shut his eye, he knew her tone and what it meant. Dante and Vergil were misbehaving again. "What did they do now?" he asked calmly.

Eva smirked and shook her head wryly. "You remember how Vergil really likes the mallows?" she asked.

Sparda chuckled. "Oh, yeah. That boy would follow a trail of them right off a cliff."

"Exactly." Eva snorted.

Sparda opened both eyes now, visibly startled. "Is that what happened?"

"No, but you're close," Eva pursed her lips and slid off of the desk. Sparda continued to look at her questioningly. "Come on, I'll show you." she said and walked out to the hall. Spada groaned and got up also to follow his wife. She led him into their backyard, out to the biggest oak tree.

There, Dante sat giggling and teasing Vergil, who was hanging upside down from the tree by a rope that was tied around his ankle and screaming his brain out for Dante to let him down.

Sparda looked quite dismayed at the whole spectacle as he turned to Eva. "Oh, babe, you need to stop buying marshmallows before somebody gets killed," Sparda said before jogging over to his children to release and chastise them respectively.

Eva sighed and smiled as she made to go back into the house.

-:-

**A/N:**

**Twinkle, twinkle potential reviewer,**

**Whether older reader or newer,**

**Let me know if you liked my work,**

**But please refrain from being a jerk,**

**The next chapter will be a cute tale of sorts,**

**Dante and Vergil will be making blanket forts,**

**If you have an idea for a drabble, submit it to me,**

**I'll write it and post it here for everyone to see,**

**So now I shall say bye bye,**

**Like a diamond in the sky.**


	5. Blanket Forts

Chapter 5 - Blanket Forts

At seven years of age, Dante and Vergil were more than capable of getting into all kinds of trouble and performing all kinds of shenanigans. Sparda and Eva knew this well. If it wasn't for motherhood, Eva wouldn't have given up her career as a devil hunter. She would have continued to go out with her husband on calls to eradicate the the demons that wanted to kill Sparda... and his family by association. Though, she still kept her prized handguns, Luce and Ombra, under her mattress in case she ever needed them.

It was good to have fighting skills and a familiarity with weaponry. It made her very capable of protecting her children from the scourge of the underworld. Eva could expertly handle almost any devil, except the two little devils that pitter-pattered around her house and - for some strange reason - became even more boisterous while their father was not at home.

It was a Wednesday, laundry day, and as always Eva had lots of dirty clothes and sheets to wash; Dante and Vergil's especially. At the moment she was vacuum-cleaning the carpets in the illustriously decorated living room... when she noticed little Vergil peeking at her from around the corner of the hallway. He looked antsy. Curious, she turned off the vacuum and walked over to him.

"Hello, Vergy. Is something wrong?" she asked, leaning over and placing her hands on her knees.

"Momma, I'm hungry," Vergil announced and looked up at her with big eyes.

"All right, come on, let's go into the kitchen and we'll find something for you to eat." Eva took Vergil's tiny hand and led him along to the kitchen and hoisted him up onto the high counter.

As she rummaged through the pantries and the refrigerator, she noticed Vergil subtly glancing at the hallway. The same one where she found him. She thought that was odd.

"So, what do you want? I can make sandwiches. There's also pudding cups, chips, peanut butter and jelly, salad, apples, beef jerky, cookies, and pizza if any of that appeals to you," Eva supplied with one hand gently resting on her hip as she watched her eldest son.

He snapped his attention back to her instantly. He thought for a moment and then said very sweetly, "May I have a bit of everything?"

Eva's mouth fell open a little. This situation was highly foreign to her. Vergil _never _wanted this much food!

"Are you feeling okay, Vergil?" she asked disbelievingly.

"Yes, Momma, I'm fine," Vergil assured her, albeit somewhat shyly. He seemed off today - being overly sweet and way too antsy. Vergil (probably along with Dante) was up to something... Though, reluctantly, Eva agreed and set to work making Vergil a great array of snacks.

About an hour later, she finished preparing the food.

"There you go. Enjoy," Eva said tiredly.

"Thanks, Momma," Vergil smiled and kissed her cheek before gathering all the food up into a picnic basket, hopping off the counter, and taking off like a little bandit. "I'll be outside!"

_He's plotting something, _Eva thought.

After all the other household chores were done. Eva went to the laundry room and emptied the hamper there (that was filled mostly with bloody towels and clothes thanks to Sparda's work) into the top-loading washer, then went upstairs to fetch her sons' bed sheets and blankets. When she entered the room she was quite astounded to find their mattresses bare. She checked the small blue hamper first followed by the red one, both of which were completely empty.

Strange.

Eva looked in every other room of the house that contained a clothes bin and she came up with nothing each time. Even her and Sparda's sheets were missing! She decided to check the linen closet - thinking they may have somehow already been washed - and was met with a shock; every clean sheet was gone too! Getting more than a little frustrated, Eva went to the backyard to hunt down two mischievous little devils. She walked around the massive tree-filled landscape and off in the distance, behind a wall-like grove of trees, Eva heard giggling and chatter.

"Awesome!" she heard Dante say.

"Thanks, little bro," Vergil replied.

"It gave me just enough time!" Dante sounded gleeful.

As Eva turned the corner of trees, she was greeted by a huge white fortress. All the sheets and blankets were tied and strung together from thick branches in various ways to ultimately create a multi-room tent mansion. The giggling continued... that was until Eva blatantly announced, "I can hear you!"

Then everything went silent.

Eva stepped forward to open the fabric door when Vergil loudly chastised, "You can't enter without the secret password!"

Eva rolled her eyes. "What might that be?" she asked, frowning in annoyance.

"Drowssap!" Dante exclaimed happily with a mouthful of tuna sandwich.

Vergil's face held a pouty look of exasperation for his younger twin for having blurted out their secret password, which just happened to be the word "password" backwards. Vergil's sulk only deepened as their mother stepped into the fort with a "What Do You Think You're Doing?" look on her face and sat down on the grassy floor.

Eva held her stern expression for a minute before a thin smile crept upon her lips. "Your father is going to have a fit when he sees this," she said impassively, gazing around the fort's interior before stopping to rest her eyes on both boys.

"We know," Dante and Vergil both said in unison, looking down apologetically, then glancing at each other inconspicuously.

"But I suppose what he doesn't know won't hurt him." Eva said and winked, smiling devilishly.

The boys smiled back disbelievingly. Their mother was full of surprises.

-:-

Afternoon faded into evening and Vergil and Dante continued to play in their blanket fort. When nightfall arrived and Sparda still had not come home, Eva had the boys come in the house for safety. Demons loved the darkness. Though the kids weren't too pleased. They still wanted to play in their fort. Eva suggested they bring all the blankets inside and make forts in their bedroom. They agreed and Eva even helped then take it down and drag it all inside.

The twins were eventually settled in with a two separate forts encompassing each of their beds. From downstairs, Eva could hear them screaming and laughing while she flipped through a women's fashion magazine. She sat in a chair near the fireplace, listening to her children play, when the front door unlocked and Sparda stepped through.

"You're home." Eva observed her husband. His clothes were slightly torn and wet, but he was otherwise unharmed.

"Finally," Sparda said, sounding relieved. "There's a damn army of demons lurking in the sewers."

Eva laughed.

"It's not funny!" Sparda groused. "It's horrendous down there."

"I'm sure it is," Eva smiled and walked over to Sparda. She kissed his even though he didn't smell all that pleasant. "Go shower. I'm gonna check on the boys."

"Hmm."

Eva climbed the stairs to Dante's and Vergil's bedroom. She heard arguing. Quietly opening the door, she peeked in and saw a war zone. Paper balls, pencils, toys, clothes, shoes, pillows, and various other object were flying back and forth across the room.

"Surrender, thief!" Vergil shouted.

"I shall not!" yelled Dante.

"That yellow blanket is mine!"

"I don't see your name on it!"

"I was using it as a door!"

"Now it's my rug!"

"You're so unfair!"

"You're so ugly!"

"We look exactly alike!"

"No, you're ugly!"

"Then you're ugly!"

"No, you're uglier."

"Well, you're stupid!"

"You're more stupider!"

"That's not even proper english!"

"You're not proper english!"

"That doesn't even make sense!"

"Whatever. Blanket's still mine!"

"Not for long!"

Eva watched silently as her kids fiercely destroyed each other's forts... And all in the name of a silly blanket. She sighed and closed the door again without them noticing.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Sparda asked as he appeared behind her, freshly bathed.

"Er..."

A loud crash echoed from the boy's bedroom. There was going to be one hell of a mess in there tomorrow.

_I'm so not cleaning it up,_ Eva mentally complained.

-:-

AN: Okay, so it's extra long for those of you who complained the chapters were too short (you know who you are). And it's about blanket forts for the one who requested the story (you also know who you are). I hope this satisfies eveyone. I had alot of trouble trying to write this situation.

So yeah, review. You know you want to. I say this as I wiggle Vergil back and forth in front of you hypnotically. You will do as I say... Sing, "I Like Big Butts and I Cannot Lie," and then quack like a poodle. Okay, now you're done.

Also, check out Family Of Happenstance by Winged Element. It's fun-cute-fun.


	6. Teething Mysteries

Chapter 6 - Teething Mysteries.

It was a warm day in the middle of spring. Dante and Vergil, only 5 months old, were taking a very big nap. Eva had never seen babies that slept so much. Sparda insisted that it was natural for demon babies to sleep more than human babies, at which time Eva reminded him that they are only _half_ demon. He rolled his eyes.

"Same thing," Sparda said.

The married couple was having a lovely little discussion, over some coffee, in the white-walled and stainless-steel kitchen.

"No, Anthony, it's not," Eva belied. "They quite human as well."

"Yes, I know," Sparda admitted, a sneaky smile forming on his lips. "But fangs certainly are not one of them."

Eva stared at him for a long moment, unblinking. "What?!" she asked, her voice a disbelievingly whisper.

Sparda smiled, posturing under her piercing stare. "Our sons have tiny little fangs."

"Oh, God," Eva whined, covering her face with her hands. "How do you know that?!"

Sparda tried not to laugh, but it was in vain. "Well, they started teething last night and one of them bit me."

"Are they... sharp?"

"Yeah... I wouldn't try breast feeding them anymore, babe. Unless you're looking to get a nipple ring..." Sparda was so calm, collected, refined, yet such a teasing obnoxious bastard sometimes. And that damn smirk!

Eva sneered at him mockingly. "Pasty-haired jackass," she muttered as she walked out of the room. Sparda chuckled in response and flashed her a grin the showed off his canine fangs.

As she ascended the stairs to check on the babies, one of them started crying. She walked into the room to find Vergil bawling. Dante on the other hand was innocently staring at the mobile above his head; not a peep out of him. Eva scooped Vergil into her arms and kissed his little fat cheek.

"There, there, baby. It's all right," Eva cooed.

She lifted up his top lip and saw that her husband was right. Vergil had tiny fangs that were just starting to form. She checked Dante and the same was true for him. After a few more kisses and sniffles Vergil quieted down. Eva set him back in the crib and went down to the kitchen to put some of her milk in a bottle. She was going to take Sparda's advice. She didn't want them biting her _there_.

Sparda was still at the kitchen table, sipping coffee and reading a news paper. As she started making two bottles, Vergil started bawling very loudly again. Eva finished making the bottles and ran back upstairs. Vergil was crying his eyes out. Eva picked him up and started to feed him. He was calmed instantly, being in his mother's arms and greedily suckling at the bottle of her warm milk. Vergil's fat little hands grabbed the bottle and Eva smiled. Soon, he was full and sleepy. Eva burped him, gave him a kiss, and laid him back down. He was nodding off in seconds. She then turned her attention to Dante. When the younger twin got a hold of the bottle, he didn't so much as suck as he did gnaw on the little rubber tip. He created many puncture holes with his aggressive chewing and Eva blinked in surprise, glad that it was the bottle and not her skin. Dante too drank quickly, but he seemed fussy afterward and - even though Eva burped him - he did not want to sleep. She placed him in the crib anyway and went about her daily routine.

-:-

Eva stood in the kitchen cooking an early dinner; beef stew. It was Sparda's favorite and she wanted him to have a good meal before he went out for the night... to work. As she was stirring the pot, Sparda came up behind her and started nuzzling her neck.

"Mm... It's either you or the food, but something smells really good," Sparda teased, laying affectionate kisses along her neck.

Eva giggled. "Stop, Anthony, I'm trying to cook," she complained.

Sparda ignored her and continued his lustful assault... that when a loud cry from upstairs erupted. Sparda frowned and backed away.

"It's like they can sense when I'm touching you," he groused and folded his arms.

"Maybe they can," Eva said with a playful smirk. "They are half-devils after all." She then handed Sparda the wooded spoon and said, "Here. Keep stirring while I'm gone."

Sparda frowned an glowered at the pot of stew. "If you were in cow form none of this would be happening," he muttered under his breath as he stirred.

Eva ran up to the babies' room. Once again, she found Vergil sobbing and Dante perfectly silent. Why was Vergil crying so much? Maybe he needed a teething toy or something. Luckily she had a couple of teething rings she'd bought months ago. She pulled two out of the dresser and gave one to each twin. Vergil liked his, but Dante had no interest. Eva shrugged it off and went to check on her demonic spouse and her food.

When she got back to the kitchen, both were gone. She found Sparda in the living room close by.

"What happened to the stew?" she asked.

"I ate it," Sparda confessed.

"The whole pot?!"

"Yes."

"It was practically still raw."

"I know." Sparda smiled.

Eva rolled her eyes and went back into the kitchen to make something for her to eat.

-:-

A few days later, Eva and Sparda were in bed, trying to sleep and Vergil started screaming to high heaven... again. The weird thing was that Vergil nor Dante were hungry or needed changing. She, for the life of her, could not figure out what was upsetting little Vergil so damn much! it was, She'd been attending to them - mostly Vergil - non-stop for the last four days and she was exhausted. She just got him to stop crying 10 minutes ago! She was _so_ not getting up for the billionth time.

"Go see what's wrong, would you?" She asked Sparda, kind of irritably. The poor woman hadn't gotten much sleep since the twins sprouted fangy teeth.

"Sure." Sparda got up and went down the hall.

A few minutes later he returned. "I don't know what the problem is," Sparda said bit annoyed. "I think he just wants his mommy... again."

Eva sighed and reluctantly got up out of bed. She pulled on her robe and went to see her sad son. As she entered the room, Vergil was crying like usual. She picked him up and cooed her sleepy heart out until - once more - Vergil was peaceful. She set him back in the crib. She turned to go back to bed, but just as she was closing the door, her eyes widened in shock and somewhat horrified amusement as she witnessed what was making Vergil cry so much.

Dante was gnawing on him.

No wonder Dante didn't want a teething toy. He already had one!

Vergil.

"Anthony! I think we need to keep the twins separated for a while!" she called out as she scooped up Vergil on her arms to save him from being chewed on.

"Bad Dante. No biting," Eva said and pointed her finger at him, which he then nipped at. "Ow!"

Blood dribbled out of a small puncture wound. Eva glared at Dante who stared back with uncomprehending innocence.

-:-

a/n: Um... there you go. hope you like it. sorry I'm slow to update. review please. I'm going for a s-rank on all DMD missions for DMC1. Ciao.


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